Where is Hawkins?

Moving time

2009-07-27T15:08:00.001-05:00

I'm giving up on Blogger and moving elsewhere. It'll be a part of my migration from The Google. Anyway, the new blog is http://whereishawkins.com/blog.

How to fail at Customer Service

2009-07-22T17:01:00.000-05:00

"You do have a choice, but if you see the overwhelming positive reviews yours will be the sole negative opinion which you are entitled to."

Scott Jordan, CEO of Scott eVest.

The Tiny Ten Project

2009-07-12T22:28:00.003-05:00

In 2010, I've decided I need a project. I'm in singledom perpetually, I love travel too much to ever quit at the risk of being broke my entire life and I'm too eccentric to ever just "go sit on a beach."

So in 2010, in lieu of trying to get to the World Cup in South Africa, I'm going to try to visit the 10 smallest countries in the world. And I don't know if I can pull it off.

What are they? The Vatican, Monaco, Nauru, Tuvalu, San Marino, Lichtenstein, Marshall Islands, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Seychelles and Maldives. I've got two that I can do in Jan of 2010 (The Vatican and San Marino.)

Four are in Europe and are easily accessible. Saint Kitts and Nevis is accessible from Chicago on American Airlines (woo woo.) The other five... well, let's just say that places like Nauru and Tuvalu might be a little more difficult than most. Nauru requires a visa - if I can find their embassy first.

Who knows if I can pull it off, but it'll be fun trying.

Oscar Mike

2009-07-04T13:49:00.002-05:00

Looks like I'm going to Rio twice - once in September, once in November. The airfare gods are not cooperating with me for SE Asia/Australia/Cape Town. Jerks. :(

Lobsters

2009-06-29T06:04:00.002-05:00

While cleaning up the bachelor pad yesterday, I stumbled across an old gift certificate for a dinner for two from an ex involving lobsters. Now, I love lobsters, but I thought about what's the best way to deal with this. After a while, I didn't like any of the options presented, so I decided to return the gift card with a sob story letter.

Customer Service
LobsterAnywhere.com
308 South Broadway
Salem, NH 03079

Dear Mr. or Miss LobsterAnywhere.com

I’ve got a dilemma. For Valentine’s Day, I received a “Lobster for two” gift card from a woman I was dating with the assumption that we’d get to enjoy delicious lobster. Now that we’ve broken up, I’m at a loss for what to do with this gift certificate.

Not surprisingly, asking Miss Manners or handbooks on social etiquette are pretty useless on lobster courtesy. So I decided that these might be my options:

• Give the lobster certificate to someone else. That’s not a really good solution, because I’m basically a regifter, and would be forever known as “the regifter of lobsters.” I’m sure that at my funeral my Rabbi would be utterly confused about someone eulogizing about Nick, the lobster regifter.
• Eat both of the lobsters myself. I thought about this, but as a now bachelor, cooking up a lobster for myself is a lot of work. Not to mention – what do I do with the other lobster? Do I try to eat both? Do I put it in the fridge until the next day? It strikes me as a little Jeffrey Dahmer-esque to have live things in my fridge.
• Share it with someone else. Now, believe it or not and despite what the internet tells you about me, I do have a bit of a conscience. Not much, but some. And I’m afraid that conscience would get in the way of enjoying delicious lobster.

Since I’m at a loss as to what to do with this gift certificate, I thought that the only honorable thing would be to return it to you in order to have you figure out what to do. Better yet, if you have other suggestions, I’d love to hear them. My options basically are to look like a dick, feel like a dick, or look and feel like a sociopath – none of which seem like good options.

Yours in delicious lobster butter sauce,

Nick Hawkins
Lobster Enthusiast

Vote for me!

2009-06-25T13:21:00.000-05:00

For the chance to win a trip to Antarctica and blog about it the entire way!

When in Rio

2009-06-14T19:44:00.003-05:00

Ok, so I'm taking awesome self to Rio de Janeiro for some sun, hiking and photography in September. How long did it take me to decide to go and book? 5 minutes. Damn my impulsivity.

I'm honestly thinking about making the trek down to Ciudad del Este in Paraguay. It sounds like my type of place!

Travel brands that are awseome and those that suck

2009-06-01T18:01:00.000-05:00

I beat equipment regularly when I travel, and it's important to reward those who can be put through the test and those who fail.

Brands that work:
Patagonia. They make amazing bags that can survive travel
The North Face. Sure, every yuppie is wearing them nowadays, but they stand by their equipment and it can take a beating.
Canon. I've had a half dozen of them and they've been my faithful companions.
Sandisk. The only brand of camera memory I'll stick in my cameras.
Garmin. My Garmin 60csx rocks.

Brands I'm ambivalent towards.
Merrell. Their hiking books are great, but their trail shoes tend to not take abuse in the urban environment.

Brands that suck:
Scott eVest. Sure, it's good in theory, but you're only as good as your suppliers make your clothing. Out of the 4 shirts I got, all 4 developed weird lines in the fabric and a pair of $70 cargo pants took a beating and wore out after less than a week of wearing.

Excuses

2009-05-01T02:50:00.003-05:00

I really apologize for the lack of blog posts. Seriously. But I have valid excuses.

1) The start of soccer season. As you guys know, I'm a supporter of the Chicago Fire and the Chicago Red Stars. I'm shooting (photos, not people, for a change) for both teams and have been tied up with that, along with general supporters stuff, including meetings that turn into 5 hours of drinking.

2) Grounded. I'm on-call at work for April, and I haven't gotten anywhere. I came back from my trip to find out I had a new boss, and all the fun stuff that entails.

3) Postpartum. It's very strange. When I got back from my Trans-Siberian adventure, I lapsed into a deep depression, which is bad because I'm already clinically depressed to start with. The best way I can figure it out is that I spent so much time planning and obsessing over this trip that when it was over, I felt a real sense of loss. But there's one way to get over it - plan another one. I've got a few minor trips coming up - Seattle tonight/this weekend, London over Memorial Day (you know you're hitting travel burnout when you're thinking - London - bah, no big deal. It's just a short 8 hour flight and they speak funny English, so where's the fun in that?)

4) Sleepthief. I suck at sleeping. :(

5) $$$$. Never buy a Canon 5D Mark II and expect to have pocket change left over. A $2700 camera gets even more expensive, with CPS services, a battery grip and a spare battery for my trip. That turned into close to $3400. So, no fun for Nick for a bit.

6) Twitter. I've been functioning in short bursts, but never much to compose into an actual blog post. So instead, I use Twitter to shout out brief bits of nothing.

I promise once I figure out where I want to go next, and my pursuit of 2 million miles on American Airlines (right now I'm at 1,877,550 lifetime), I'll start blogging more.

Photos and Videos

2009-04-09T01:43:00.000-05:00

I've uploaded all of my photos to Fotki - my online proof sheet, as it were. All of the videos I shot are at Vimeo. I will, at some point, make a "Best of" photo presentation, but that'll come when I've got a bit more free time.

I haven't forgotten you

2009-04-06T16:23:00.001-05:00

I will blog more - been concentrating on uploading photos, jury duty, soccer and the flu. Honest.

Beijing bound

2009-03-25T14:27:00.002-05:00

After two long train trips, I was pretty apprehensive about getting back on the train in general. The novelty was wearing off, but I was determined to see this through. Mr. Kim from the hostel took us to the train station, and I got on the same train car with my Aussies and a French couple in their 60's who were on the same itinerary as we were.

The Frenchman was jovial enough and asked if I was British. I said, no, I'm a Yank and he said jokingly "Well, no one's perfect" and had a bit of a laugh. His wife asked if things were magically better since Obama was in charge and I said no, it's pretty much the same.

I had a new train companion, a Brit doing a post-University jaunt around the world (I'm always jealous of the "gap year" kids since I've always worked, but now I'm doing it better than they are - score one for me.) We also had a shower between each first class cabin, which was pretty nice. I didn't figure on trying to trying to use it. The trip itself was around 30 hours from Ulanbataar to Beijing, with the wildcard being the border crossing.

The China/Mongolia border crossing was... interesting, to say the least. They had to swap the bogeys of the train because of the different rail gauges. We didn't get a chance to get off the train during this process, and were locked in the train with locked bathrooms. Our passports were confiscated and our rooms were casually searched by the Chinese customs folks. Also, the train compartments were about 80 degrees, so we sort of sat around, were confused and were drug away in our car.

Around 10pm, the bogey changing started. It was traumatic and pretty anticlimactic. We were raised 4 feet or so in the air while we were in the train car and they swapped out the undercarriage. Then came 2 hours of being jolted around violently, then eventually lowered and set on our merry way. The highlight wasn't the bogey change, it was that our bathrooms were open and we didn't have to suffer the indignity of having to piss in a water bottle.

I managed to get a few hours of sleep when we were on the move and finally in China. I think collectively, our entire cabin was suffering from train fatigue, and we were counting down the hours until we arrived in China.

Once we were in China, a cabin attendant came by and gave us vouchers for a free breakfast and lunch (hurray for the perks of first class!) which turned out to be pretty sorry and we just used it as an excuse to sit in the dining car and have beers and chat about what we were up to in Beijing.

My roommate told me about the cute British girls he ran into in a different car, along with "the Swedes." Apparently they were younger guys in their early 20s, who spent the time on the train taking Viagra and watching porn. Apparently one of them was prancing around in the Borat swimsuit earlier in the journey. Naturally, I called bullshit because seriously - who does that? (Yes, I am being hypocritical - I've talked about how funny it would be to do things like that but never actually gone through it...)

Eventually, we arrived in Beijing around 3pm. Already the city felt different and more modern since I was there in 2006. The Olympics will do that to you - a 5 year runup to a 2 week pageant, leaving 15 years worth of bills. My Aussies and I left together, took photos of the Railway Station, and made plans for going to the Great Wall at Simatai the next day. We parted company and I went to the same hotel I went to in 2006, a rather generic Novotel. I figured I needed a hot shower, room to stretch and the ability to parade around in my underwear without the fear of being heckled.

I met up with Augusto, my trusty new friend from Italy to do a quick walking tour around Tiananmen Square and find a place to eat. It was a good time, and I was happy to see the square again, take better photos with a better camera this time, and not focus on being crazy like I'm pressed for time and thus obligated to see everything.
Augusto was loving it, and it was nice to see the energy from someone new. In a way, I was upset with myself for not realizing a) I'm in China b) I just had a fucking amazing experience and c) not being excited about it. But I chalked it up to fatigue, and planned on sleeping it off. Augusto and I wandered around, got some food, and just had a relaxing evening. He was in our plan for heading to Simatai the next day to hit the Great Wall, so it'd be a quick sleep for all of us, and prep for a busy day.

The ger and train rides

2009-03-22T21:08:00.002-05:00

On my first day in Ulanbataar (or "UB", which is infinitely easier to use), I ran off with my new Italian buddy Augusto and we made a whirlwind tour of the city - starting first with Sukhbataar Square. It was a pretty large public square, but yet smaller than Tiananmen Square (yet to come). The security guards didn't mind me in front of the Government Palace doing Scarfapalooza for both the Fire and Red Stars, which was pretty nice of them.

The first stop after coffee was the National Museum of Mongolia. I admit that I was pretty interested because Mongolian history is new to me, plus I was hoping that their close proximity to the Gobi Desert would mean dinosaurs. It was cool to learn about how Mongolia found their own path after the collapse of the Soviet Union and has now turned into an interesting business opportunity (if I had $100k, I'd invest it in third-world telecom companies.) After that, we took a walk down to Choijin Lama Temple and then onto the Gandan Monastery (I'm perplexed why, that at a Buddhist monastery, they tell you to watch out for pick pockets. But then again, if you look at crimes per capita, the Vatican City is the most dangerous city in the world. Have people no respect for religious stuff?) The temples themselves were interesting, but my occidental nature doesn't help me understand why they are so fascinating. And after another inexpensive meal of mutton and beer, it was time for sleep to get up early to head to Terejl.

Another note: I stayed at the UB Guesthouse in Ulanbataar. It was a pretty good establishment. The beds were as hard as rocks, but there was nothing to complain about. Mr Kim, the proprietor, is a first rate man and took care of all of us, from the pickup at the train station at 6am to our overnight in a Ger at Terejl National Park. I'd stay there again.

We got up at the crack of dawn and got into a minivan only to find my Aussies from Moscow joining us. It was rather cool and fun to see friends from the train. Also joining us was a cute-as-hell Japanese couple who were in their early 20s. I mean disgustingly cute - like "pinch their cheeks" worthy. At the Terejl National Park, people rode horses while I wandered around, took powernaps in the sun and played with the dogs of the caretakers of the Ger we were staying at. It was nice to sit and relax and explore. We were all looking forward to spending the night in the ger - it's a tried and true design that would actually be pretty cool to have in a backyard. We all just sort of lounged around, swapped stories, planned our next days and drank beer. During the middle of the night, the fire went out and we all subsequently froze our asses off. But still, it was a great experience shared with fellow travelers.

We got back to UB in the early afternoon - too late to actually do anything productive - so we went shopping for souvenirs, food for the train ride and of course, Mongolian Barbecue. The food was the same as you'd get in the US, but Augusto had never had it, and was diggin' it. I guess the cool part of having a melting pot as a society is all sorts of great ethnic restaurants. And on the way back, my pocket compass failed me (seriously, the polarity got reversed and I left my GPS at the hostel) and I fucked up the landnav in the dark and led us in the wrong direction back towards the train station, about a good 30 minute walk away from the hostel. Please keep in mind that it was probably -10C outside and pitch black (UB isn't well lit), so I felt like I fucked up bigtime but Augusto was cool about it. I got us on the right track when I busted out my work Blackberry, turned on the GPS, said "twinkle twinkle little star", fired up Google Maps satellite view and voila, located myself and set us in the right direction. Seriously - how many compasses fail like that?

We eventually made it to the Grand Khan Irish Pub (naturally, I bought a shirt) for our final beers, went back to the hostel and crashed for a few hours, only to get up super early to catch the train to Beijing. I wanted to stay longer, but I can always come back.

Hello from Ulanbataar!

2009-03-19T05:54:00.001-05:00

The Train to Mongolia

2009-03-18T07:28:00.000-05:00

We left Irkutsk on the 17th around 950pm local time. Since they only do second or third class on this train, my princess-self was in second class. It's a 4 bed compartment, and it was actually a lot classier than the first class compartment from Moscow. I had to share it with a moody Russian woman until Ulan Ude, and then she was replaced by a nice German couple.

Most of the car's passengers are Westerners, which is cool. Germans, Italians, Aussies, French, Brits, Danes and yours truly. It's got a bit of a party atmosphere, but we're all having fun, despite the 30 or so stops until the border.

At Naushki, there's a 3.5 hour scheduled stop to change locomotive and the exit stuff from Russia. It took about 4+ hours, then we drive across the border and repeat the process with the Mongolians. At Mongolian Customs, they held a crisp salute as the train went by. I thought that was rather nice. Immigration on both sides was both handled by fairly tall pretty women, so that was different from the US, where a surly armed person handles my entry.

With luck, I'll be in Ulanbataar in 9 hours - welcoming a clean shower, a non-moving bed and of course, Mongolian barbecue.

Listvyanka and Lake Baikal

2009-03-17T03:09:00.002-05:00

After crashing hard after my first night in Irkutsk, I got up early to take a minibus to Listvyanka on the shores of Lake Baikal. Naturally not being too bright, I forgot to associate "cold" and "large body of water" to hellish conditions with ice, bone chilling wind and general misery. It's only because in Chicago, we don't have anything like that. I mean, seriously - it's 72 and sunny all year 'round!

According to legend, you add years to your life if you dip your hands, feet and body into the Lake. I'm going to just say that I did because I did walk about 100m onto the lake and just said, well, crap...

Listvyanka is probably a really cool place during the summer. It's quaint, and reminds me of seaside communities in New England. However, they don't have dog sledding, and that's what truthfully got me to stop here.

After paying 1350 rubles for 5km, I sat in the sled and was driven off. After about half a click, we swapped positions, and I got to drive the sled the rest of the way. It was pretty slick - I'd never thought I'd get to do something like this and really felt sorry for the dogs to haul my ass around, but hey, it was awesome. Plus, you've never lived until you've seen a dog try to take a shit while it's pulling a sled.

I figured after hours in the cold, I was frozen enough and the nice Italian guy who I've been paling around with headed back to the hostel to clean up, grab some food and beer and then prepare a day of nothing.

It's St. Patrick's Day here, and you can't tell - which is probably a good thing. I don't like to sing Irish songs, because most of them are about death or dying and it really puts a damper on a festive day. Since the train for Mongolia leaves at 9pm local time, it's ok to just lounge around the hostel, upload videos and photos and just relax and save energy for the train.

With luck, I'll post from Mongolia.

Irkutsk

2009-03-16T22:36:00.001-05:00

Sorry for the delay in catching people up on the trip, but I got sidetracked in an effort to catch up on sleep and adjust to time zone changes.

Let's start with The General. Sometime during the night of the 13th, the cabin attendant banged on my door and I had a cabinmate - an older gentleman named Igor (Iger?) who said he was a General and also struck a fighting pose and said something about Chuck Norris. Well, in the US, I said, comparing yourself to Chuck Norris will get you a swift uppercut. But, as the Norrisjet won't fly at Mach 10 (yet) he was safe for now.

The 14th passed without much incident. I slept, read, had a beer and slept some more. Such is the train - it's tiring because of the white noise.

We arrived on schedule in Irkutsk, which is amazing to me since we haven't mastered the art of ontime trains in the US. It was about 20 out, so I decided to hoof it to the hostel. After a 30 minute hike I arrived, took a shower best described as "orgasmic" and powernapped.

After a bit, I went around with an Italian guy who was at the hostel to the sights of Irkutsk which takes all of a few hours to do. There are some unremarkable cathedrals, a statue of Lenin and the Baikal Museum, which was decent.

I went back to do laundry, nap, photo work and headed out to dinner and a few beers. Then slept for 12 hours. I was beat.

Lake Baikal

2009-03-16T04:03:00.000-05:00

Oh no! Tragic news!

2009-03-15T07:52:00.001-05:00

A Typical Friday

2009-03-13T04:50:00.000-05:00

My watch says 12:30. I'm typing away on my Blackberry while nursing a beer. Come to think of it, that's how I spend every Friday at 12:30.

It's a little weird. The Trans-Siberian is geared towards Moscow time, meanwhile you're catapulting though time zone after time zone so I'm unsure as to what time it really is. But that's part of the fun.

The train is cool. I've lost hours just staring out the train, absorbing the landscape. It's flat, barren with trees and snow. I can't believe I'm here in Russia, let alone on a train.

I've been talking to this lovely Aussie couple next door, who, as it turns out, is on the same itin as me to Ulanbataar and Beijing - but, was also scammed by Alexander at Intergroup Russia. Citibank, in a rare moment of awesomeness, took care of me and I told them that it'll take time. I feel kind of bad for intruding on them but as I'm the only Yank on board, it's nice to hear English. And I'm a bit lonely.

The two cabin attendants, I think, are dating, and they seem to somewhat tolerate me hanging out the window in the toilet taking photos and video and waving at people - sort of like the village idiot. But fuck it, this is awesome.

Irkutsk is coming up in 36 hours. I'm looking forward to Lake Baikal and just getting out of the hustle of a major city and perhaps even a night on the town.

The Perpetual Train

2009-03-12T03:02:00.000-05:00

On my last day in Moscow, I decided to head to Kolomenskoe, another vast park in Moscow. The centerpiece was a cathedral that was built in honor of the birth of Ivan, who later became Ivan the Terrible. I went with a gentleman from the hostel named Andy (I keep meeting Brits) and was glad for the company.

At night, I got on the train to Irkutsk and found out that I had the cabin to myself which was pretty sweet. Next door to me are two Aussies taking the long way home after a few years in Manchester. Coincidentally, they're on the same trains as me all the way to Beijing so they are my de facto drinking buddies.

The worst part about the trip itself is the time alone to your own thoughts. The downside of my elephant brain is that memories of mistakes still hang around my neck like a badge of merited shame. So I'm trying to keep busy with some books from Amazon Vine - "The Weight of a Mustard Seed" about an Iraqi General's time under Hussein, is starting to suck so I'll get through it today in an effort to keep busy.

The journey itself is fascinating. I woke up around 6am local time and and just stared out the window for a good hour. At some point I need to lean out the window in the bathroom and shoot some photos and video.

The next pit stop is Balezino for about 20 minutes. I'll try to get off and take photos.

The Wild Dogs of Gorky Park

2009-03-11T11:39:00.000-05:00

Since I'm a few days behind on the daily updates, but I'll still run down various things, so I apologize for the lack of coherency.

On Monday I went with some guys from the hostel to Gorky Park. I'm sure this place in summer really kicks ass, so it's a little surreal to be here when it's cold. Between the desolation of the barren trees and the snow, it's unnerving. Add in the packs of wild dogs and scary clown paintings and you have something out of a Steven King novel. I also did find out that "Gorky Park" was filmed in Finland, so that sucked.

(On a side note, Godzilla Hostel is really a first rate operation. However there is this weird Dutch guy around 50 with electric blue hair here, so it's become this odd sighting.)

Tuesday was the big day at The Kremlin. You're not allowed to bring in bags or professional-looking SLRs, so I had to use my trusty Powershot. However, no photos allowed in any of the cathedrals in the Kremlin, which sucked hard. The cathedrals were fucking amazing - which is not to be confused with just "amazing" - you could really feel the sense of devotion and the labor of love of the decoration. We were lucky enough to hear a choir of 5 priests sing, and they totally kicked ass. Everyone stopped and watched in amazement. I wish I could have made a video of it.

There's also the State Armoury - at the cost of 700 rubles ($20) to get in - was amazing. The weaponry and the carriages were ornate, and it was cool to see the gifts that were brought over from various governments in an attempt to build relationships (which made me think of the recent fuckup between Obama and Gordon Brown.) Oddly enough, the weirdest gifts were from Poland.

I did a walkaround GUM and Red Square before heading back to stow my gear and restage for a night at BB King's Blues Bar. I heard a very good band, had some vodka (I can't do shots - I fully admit my pussiness) and had the Buddy Guy Gumbo. That was a mistake. They used the stock of chicken soup, threw in some rice and baby calamari (yay for octupi!) and said it was gumbo. I was disappointed and almost made violent.

Next up: Kolomenskoe, and the Trans-Siberian.

Church of Our Lady of Kazan, Moscow

2009-03-11T04:29:00.000-05:00

Moscow Mayhem

2009-03-08T13:57:00.001-05:00

After being in Moscow for about 30+ hours, I thought I'd pull my head out of the clouds and thumb out my first bit of time here.

After landing, I took Aeroexpress to downtown and hopped on the Metro to the hostel. Yes, a hostel. Even though I'm a proud snob as a Starwood Platinum and happy to have my points/suite upgrade waiting for me when I arrive, I decided to tough it out in a $20 a night dorm room that I share with 7 other intrepid folks, most of whom are on the same adventure as I am. It's an interesting mix of older adults and university students.

After dropping off my stuff, I decided to brave the cold and walk 20+ minutes to Red Square. First impressions? It's fucking huge. It's one thing to rely on sat imagery or maps, but to actually be there is amazing. It was colder than I expected (open space + wind = suck), but to see St. Basil's Cathedral itself was cool, let alone to go inside was impressive. After that, I headed to GUM, a shopping center that's only impressive because of the history and architecture, not the shops - your standard Western shopping mall stores.

Today I decided to postpone The Kremlin because of the holiday weekend and went to the Pushkin Museum of Fine Arts, which had a really cool Egyptian and Ancient Greek collection. I also popped my head in the Cathedral of Christ the Redeemer, which was destroyed by Stalin in order to make a monument to himself. So it's literally under 20 years old. But sadly, no photography was allowed. In my world of perpetual tourism, "No Photography Allowed" is my version of cockblocking.

I ended up going to the Tretyakov Gallery, which was cool. I'm not much of an art gallery person, but it was interesting to see Russian art. Lots of religious imagery, of course, but I liked it even though I don't understand it.

Tomorrow I think I'm going to Gorky Park and save The Kremlin for Tuesday. But now it's time for sleep.

Hello from Moscow!

2009-03-07T07:16:00.000-06:00

Bye!

2009-03-06T16:41:00.003-06:00

I'll be landing in Moscow in 12 hours, so I just wanted to drop a note and let you know I'll try to send a daily blog post and perhaps a picture (and hope that T-Mobile doesn't kill me for roaming charges.)

Please remember I will be using Twitter, doing somewhat frequent GPS tracking updates and I've got a Google Maps Mashup of the entire trip.

Happy Friday!

Burris in 2010!

2009-03-03T13:35:00.001-06:00

Almost time to go

2009-03-02T23:31:00.003-06:00

Less than 90 hours to go. Bags are mostly packed, camera gear is insured and charged. That is all. With luck, my Saturday afternoon will be spent in Red Square with my cameras, tripod and a few hundred shutterclicks. And vodka to warm me up.

On major trips, I have a mental checklist that I run through. Things are generally planned within an inch of their life, and I have backup plans for backup plans. It's part of an intoxicating routine. I've been living this trip for 6 months now, and it's sort of a letdown to actually go on the trip since I've envisioned it mentally for so long. But I'm ready to go.

The postcard list now stands >70, which is fine. It's fun to write them and see them end up all over the globe. It's weird - I rarely get told that they arrive but I'm definitely yelled at if I don't send one. Another way to define my life as an absence of a negative.

Anyway, I promise I will blog on the trip so all 3 readers will be able to follow the trip. It's one of those great adventures in the world, and I want to be able to share it with people.

The Trans-Siberian Railway: Crunch Time

2009-02-08T17:19:00.001-06:00

*Note* This is crossposted at Tripso.com, but I am discontinuing my writing relationship with them.
----------

With parts one and two of my Trans-Siberian trip, I've shown you the fun of planning the trip from scratch. Since I'm going by myself, I want to get as much as possible planned ahead of time so there are hopefully no surprises.

Adventures in Russian visas
At $131 for US citizens, I expected that hopefully the process would be rather seamless. Maybe it's just me, but $131 is nothing to scoff at. However, it gets progressively more fun. You need a tourism invitation letter in order to apply for your visa. If you were doing a tour package, they'd take care of this for you, but traveling solo means I've got to get this myself. An extra $30 on top of $131 doesn't hurt the wallet, but still, you'd think that this would be easier.

Now here comes the fun part. According to the Russian Embassy in Washington, DC, they will no longer do mail processing of visa applications but instead, will recommend three agencies who will walk the visa over for you if you don't live close to a Russian Consulate - for $50 plus shipping. Yikes.

After digging, I found Russian-Visa.com who would issue the tourism invitation letter and walk it over and FedEx it back to me for $65, which after all of this, seemed like a bargain. I could even do the Visa application online with them. And impressed me the most was how responsive they were - I got an email when my passport arrived, another when they dropped it off, another when they picked up the passport with the visa and another when it got shipped back. It was awesome. In an age where customer service sucks, I was happy to have my beloved passport taken care of.

Social Networking and Vacations
I've become sort of hooked on Twitter. Yes, it has no real business model, but it's a good way to post the mundane and short blurbs when it seems like you don't have enough for a real conversation. And Facebook has gone from something cool to an addiction.

Using T-Mobile's unlimited international email for Blackberrys, I've decided that I'm going to document this trip both the classic way with two digital SLRs and a Moleskine notebook and the newer way - Twitter, Facebook and TwitPic. I've noticed that when I personally blog about a trip after I get back, I lose energy because it's work trying to make a trip seem exciting after I've gotten back and most likely, told people about the highlights in person.

And in what seems like a good mood to flaunt my geek cred, I'm even doing a GPS tracking of me. It's one thing to mention the city where I am in Russia, but it's another to show it on a nice map.

So, if you want to track me as I go from Moscow to Irkutsk to Ulanbataar to Beijing, do the following:

Add me to Twitter

GPS Tracking with Instamapper. I'll try to fire this up every few hours to blip where I am, dependent on phone coverage.

Flickr mobile photostream. Just camera phone photos while traveling, but it'd be sort of close to real-time. And geotagged.

The Google Maps mashup of the Trans-Siberian Railway. Just to have an idea of where I'm going and what I've gotten myself into.

You can also add me on Facebook and I'll even try to use Google Latitude along the way for tracking on your smartphone.

The Hawkins 7: Random shit

2009-02-04T22:51:00.003-06:00

Honestly I can't think of a coherent post, so it's time for another random list of stuff.

1) While in Hawaii I got to shoot guns again. While it's always fun to see how my skills are, it was a weird reminder that since I shoot left handed, casings fly out of the ejection port and will invariably end up hitting my right arm/shoulder/go into a shirt pocket. I forgot about that.
2) I am now a Canon 5D Mark II owner. And thus, broke.
3) I'm not really married. I'm sorry for leading you on, blog readers. Never was.
4) I leave for Russia on my adventure in 30 days, and it's surprisingly well planned out, even for me. If I get killed, I do believe Tim Sandholm gets first dibs on the camera gear.
5) This winter has seemed exceptionally brutal thus far and I'm ready for it to be over. Of course, where am I going? Somewhere colder.
6) Relationships suck, so I'll be alone. What's funny is that I felt like I got an offer of "let's leave our marriages together if you were married" a while back. That was interesting.
7) I keep struggling to put out blog posts. When I travel, I can blog to my heart's content, but when I'm at home I struggle to find words. It sucks.

Luv 2 Stalk U

2009-02-04T04:02:00.002-06:00

Just in time for Valentine's Day, you now can stalk me via Google Latitude on your mobile device. Add me as a friend and we can see where we are.

And for those who want to stalk me anonymously (not real time, of course), you can try my work Blackberry or my personal one.

The Trans-Siberian Railway Trip

2009-01-30T18:08:00.002-06:00

Here's what I get to do in 5 weeks:

Schedule:

March 6: Fly to Moscow

March 7-11: Lovely time in Moscow

March 11 (evening) - March 15 (morning): That's right - 80+ hours on a train from Moscow to Irkutsk.

March 15-17: Spend some time in Irkutsk near Lake Baikal. I hope to do some dog sledding.

March 17-19: Roughly 30 hours on a train from Irkutsk to Ulanbataar, Mongolia

March 19 AM - March 22 AM: Mongolia, baby!

March 22 AM - March 23 PM: 30 hours to Beijing via train

March 23 PM - March 27: Beijing, round two!

March 28 - March 29: Fly home. Beijing to Tokyo to Vancouver to New York to Chicago

Resources:

My Google Mashup of the Trans-Siberian Railway

Yes, I'm Twittering the trip.

GPS tracking. Naturally I'm not going to have it real time since it's dependent on data coverage with my Blackberry.Hopefully every 6 hours or so I'll turn it on so you can track me. Bonus points for finding where I am on a map and going "Nick, what were you doing at that strip club?"

Goddamnit

2009-01-21T19:08:00.001-06:00

My Canon 40D has taken a nosedive, 48 hours before I go to Hawaii. :(

Luv 2 Stalk U

2009-01-19T23:17:00.001-06:00

Often times family and friends ask "Where is Hawkins?" Is he in town? Azerbaijan? Zimbabwe? Somewhere in between?

Never fret. Thanks to my beloved Blackberry, T-Mobile and Instamapper, you get this: Where is Hawkins? Tracker.

Naturally, this only works when I've got cell phone coverage or when I decide/remember to turn on my phone's GPS. I'm hoping that I can get away with intermittent pings while on trips so you can see that I do indeed travel and it's not some elaborate hoax (although it'd be sort of funny if all these years I was fooling you.) But this way, you can hopefully follow me across the world, from Moscow to Beijing and various places in between.

Bad news

2009-01-13T05:27:00.000-06:00

I'm filing a restraining order against the Missus. :(

Happy New Year, February Edition

2009-01-11T11:43:00.003-06:00

I've been struggling with the idea of the blog as of late, seeing that my love for Twitter and Facebook status updates are making a move up since I'm more geared towards quick blurbs than anything.

Russia/Trans-Siberian is still a-go for March 6th. Fuck it, I'm in.

I'm also off for a long relaxing weekend in Hawaii again, I hope. Typically I don't like going to tropical paradises. My pasty skin makes for instant burning, which also will get me the ridicule of friends and coworkers (true story: I came back from a weekend in Kansas City where I was outdoors at a soccer game - came into work the next day and I had raccoon eyes and everyone looked at me like "What the fuck happened to you?") That and I haven't figured out the key to unwinding. I'm a clock minder, and that's what I do best. But knowing me, I'll run from tourist destination to tourist destination and take a lot of photos.

To Transsiberian or not to Transsiberian?

2008-12-17T16:48:00.003-06:00

As some of you know, I'm taking more or less the entire month of March off to do the Transsiberian railway, with stops in Moscow, Irkutsk, Ulanbataar and Beijing. However, the g-ds of travel are not with me on this one, and I'm thinking about scrubbing the adventure altogether in lieu of something else as equally crazy.

Part of it is that I'm trying to reign in my crackwhore-like spending on trips and eventually grow up and become a responsible adult who saves money. But then I get sidetracked and eventually want to buy new camera stuff or go somewhere exotic.

Thoughts? Should I just tough it out and prepare for 3 weeks of solo fun?

Never mind me - I'm testing Seadragon

2008-12-17T02:21:00.000-06:00

Travel blogging for fun (not money)

2008-12-08T04:07:00.002-06:00

I've been a Tripso blogger for a bit now, and figured that if you wanted to see my more indepth travel shenanigans, stop on over.

Dear Adobe

2008-12-06T16:43:00.002-06:00

Please release Adobe Lightroom 2.2 ASAP and I won't be upset.

love, nick

The Worst Part

2008-12-04T19:06:00.001-06:00

When you run out of things to say that have meaning, the blog is useless. Most of what I'm thinking and feeling are blurbs as of late as I try to put some sense into things. The world's an uncertain place and it's hard to prepare for the unknown. It's not just that my thoughts are about the events in Mumbai or any other place that might erupt into chaos, it's about local events as well - and how I can make some understanding out of the turmoil.

I guess I'm just hitting that point in my life where I feel that the older I get, the less I know. That process of self-discovery that I felt on trips and adventures is slowly dwindling away. The sea inside of me just rages on with no purpose.

What the fuck did I just do?

2008-11-24T17:09:00.000-06:00

Yes, I know, I haven't posted anything in a few weeks. I've just lost interest. :(

Thank you for shopping at http://www.RitzCamera.com.

Here is your order confirmation:

*******************************************
Order # 2200608 Order date 11/24/08
-------------------------------------------
Sold To HAWKINS, NICHOLAS

Ship To HAWKINS, NICHOLAS

Merchandise Freight Total
----------- ------- -----
$2,699.99 FREE $2,699.99

Item Qty Price Status
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
541162897 1 2,699.99 Usually ships within 7-14 days
CANON EOS 5D MARK II DSLR CAM BODY ONLY
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some photos!

2008-11-05T05:23:00.001-06:00

To tide you over, here are some photos from Hong Kong Disneyland and Macau.

It's taking a while to get through these photos. But they were geotagged for your pleasure...

Hong Kong

2008-11-03T00:22:00.001-06:00

Well, I'm back from Hong Kong - 2500 photos and some future jetlag later. I'll write more - you know, the normal trip writeup and links to pics sometime this week.

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-15T22:19:00.002-05:00

I look forward to the holidays in part to one man: Alek Komarnitsky. He's the mad genius behind the controllable Halloween decorations to raise money for Celiac Disease (I secretly think he likes to torture his neighbors as well). Not only is he a fellow Canon 40D shooter, but he's surpassed a level of geekery by doing this that you can't help but salute him.

So stop by, impress your kids with how you can remote control this guy's decorations and donate some money to Celiac research.

The Hawkins 7: 7 Totally Stupid Things I Should Do In 2009

2008-10-09T22:58:00.002-05:00

1) Have a Nick Hawkins convention - a mass gathering of Nick Hawkins' throughout the world, whereby we meet up, drink and go ransack a town.
2) Keep a track of the most obscure country from which someone visits my blog, and go there. Bonus points for if they let me sleep on their couch. Since October 1, it was Azerbaijan. In the last 30 days, Moldova, Bosnia and Iran have all made it to my list.
3) Get residency permits for Gibraltar.
4) Ask my congressman for money to travel to be a "Goodwill Ambassador." Better yet, a Diplomatic passport. What can go wrong?
5) Spend a night at an airport. Since I'm in them all the freakin' time, I'm curious what goes on after dark and the terminal is empty. Might be worthy of a blog post.
6) The next celebrity I meet/see, I'll be sure to go "Hey, I loved you in..." whatever their most obscure/stupidest role was. Hilarity will ensue.
7) Get named as a character in a book, and then have that character killed in a funny way, such as zombies and robots - in a Victorian-era suspense novel.

Why I love Chicago, part 123907

2008-10-09T18:43:00.002-05:00

Today's Tribune:

The biggest hit would be felt by Chicago Card and Chicago Card Plus customers, who according to a CTA analysis live in more affluent ZIP codes than riders who pay cash fares or use regular transit cards.

"Our Chicago Card customers are more elastic in their ability to absorb fare increases," said CTA President Ron Huberman.

Thanks Ron!

It feels like forever...

2008-10-06T22:35:00.003-05:00

Since I've blogged, that is.

1) I didn't upload my LA photos - yet. I feel like I have to tag the houses I went to on the "homes of the stars" tours, but I geotagged them and remember a few of them. More later.
2) I bought a Canon Powershot G10 and used it this weekend. I love it. I know that I'll get grainy photos with high ISO, but allows me to have grownup controls over a toy camera. Plus it's all black, which makes it look slick.
3) I went on the Section 8 road trip to Kansas City to support the Chicago Fire. They're a good bunch of people and I'm glad I went. Very good bonding experience.
4) The downside of the Powershot G10 is that Adobe's RAW software can't support it yet, so I'm left with Canon's software, which makes handling photos awkward.

Toronto is in less than two weeks and HK is in less than 3. Awesome.

The end of days

2008-10-01T01:33:00.002-05:00

I was in LA this past weekend. More on that later, along with pics.

The White Sox and the Cubs both made the playoffs for the first time since... a while. I'm pretty sure that if they advance further, a fissure will open up and swallow the city whole. But in all seriousness, it's exciting. My loyalty is towards the Men in Black, but I'll begrudgingly root for the Cubs. However, the Cubs being the Cubs, will probably suffer another Bartmanesque incident which has no bearing on the game and yet the Cubs will collapse.

Exciting times, indeed.

Postcardz!

2008-09-23T21:18:00.000-05:00

You know the routine - if you want postcards from my upcoming adventures to Hong Kong and a mystery spot or two before the end of the year - let me know. The regulars who have been getting them since the beginning of the year will continue to get them but if you didn't get one from Egypt, then you're not on the list. Sorry. :(

God damnit, Canon

2008-09-22T20:06:00.004-05:00

Just when I was thinking I could be all comfortable with my photography, Canon has to drop the Canon 5D Mark II at the price of $2700 and tease me with it. It's like, hey Nick, 21 megapixels plus I shoot 1080p video. That's right, Nikon was like hahaha I take 12mp photos and 720p and Canon whipped out their e-penis and dropped some more shenanigans on them. 21 fucking megapixels. How can you not like that? And look at this damn sexy video - gyro stabilized mounts on the helo, fast L lenses and possible cameltoe from the model.

So I'm running around all frantically thinking - can I sell my 40D, 30D and TX1 and live on Ramen Noodles and Chef Boyardee for the rest of the year and get the 5D Mark II?

WHY MUST YOU TEASE ME CANON?

Who are my readers in...?

2008-09-20T17:36:00.001-05:00

Mansfield, Ohio. Email me and say hi.

Chicago Tribune lolz

2008-09-19T18:48:00.001-05:00

I was mentioned in a Chicago Tribune article today about Cubs fans and having to ruin vacation plans. My friend Eihab is pulling out of Hong Kong if the Cubs advance to the world series, leaving me to have awesomeness all by myself.

This year, he has a ticket to China with his friend Nick at World Series time.

"I've waited my whole life to see the Cubs in the World Series," he says, "and when they finally make it, I'm stuck in Guangzhou or some other Chinese city 7,500 miles away? I would seriously kill myself."

So he has warned Nick: If the Cubs go to the Series, he's not going to China.

Nick, being a Sox fan, just laughs. The Cubs in the World Series? Right.

The article did mention another guy who has a trip with his girlfriend has a trip around the same time and he wants to cancel if they advance that far. The solution is obvious: She can come with me to Hong Kong, and I promise to return her in slightly used condition.

What a difference 28 months makes

2008-09-18T22:44:00.003-05:00

Today I spent my lunch waiting in line again at the Chinese Consulate, waiting to drop off my stuff to get my multi-entry visa. I should have paid attention to their website because without thinking, I assumed it was the same as last time. Let that be a lesson: pay fucking attention. Two years ago, it was quick and easy and only $60. Now, it's $130.

2006:

Me: I'm thehawkins from the internets. I'd like a visa to visit, please.
Them: Here you go, internet legend.
Me: Giggity!

Yesterday:

Me: I'm thehawkins from the internets. I'd like a visa to visit again - but twice, please.
Them: You got tickets and hotel confirmations, bitch?
Me: No. :sadface:

Today:

Me: I'm back!
Them: You got tickets and hotel confirmations?
Me: You bet your sweet ass I do. Tickets, hotel confirmations for places that I don't want to stay at but it looks impressive enough for both my HK trans-border ventures and my entry from Mongolia.
Them: Since you only have trips within 6 months, you only get the 6 month multi-entry visa, not the 12 monthy multi-entry visa. Sucks for you.
Me: :sadface:

I'm sort of hoping that they give it to me anyway, because if it's 6 months from today, this fucks me bigtime on my exfil date in March of next year, and it'll save me the hassles of dealing with local authorities to worry about getting another visa, etc. My worrying and obsessiveness over details helps minimize issues, and being in neurotic shape already doesn't help much.

Airfare Dorkery

2008-09-11T21:25:00.002-05:00

Since I'm sitting on a lot of frequent flier miles, I like to spend them on things I can't normally afford. Like bringing Tim and Holly to India - there's no way I could afford that in cash, so alas, miles! They're not just a way to keep score, but they're kinda cool for doing things that you never could do.

The (travel) highlight of this week involves my trip to Russia and the Trans Siberian Railway. In order to cheat and save frequent flier miles, I needed to fly two Oneworld partners of American Airlines on the way back. At the time I booked, I'd basically from Chicago to Moscow on American, then fly out of Beijing on Finnair to Helsinki, to London then Toronto on British Airways and finally, the last stretch from Toronto to Chicago on AA. There's a forced overnight in London, and quite frankly, the idea of flying lots then sleeping in a hotel, then flying lots again doesn't appeal to me.

The new route home: from Beijing, I fly to Tokyo then to Vancouver on Japan Airlines (in business all the way, natch), have a 10am to 10pm layover in Vancouver (Granville Island brewery, here I come!), then fly Cathay Pacific to New York, then head home. It's not sexy by any means, but it's a way that I can gain 3 full days in Beijing and not really lose anything except for the loss of sanity (I guess I gain sanity, or something.) This way, I get an extended stopover in Vancouver and get to run around, get contact highs off of BC Bud in Gastown, have some beer, and then sleep on a flight to NYC in Cathay's sexy new business class. It sucks to be me.

Sports Shooter

2008-09-07T23:37:00.000-05:00

Last night I got the chance to bring in the big guns and shoot the Chicago Fire's victory vs the New York Red Bulls. I did get a field pass, and had a lot of fun despite getting yelled at by their dipshit security (yes, it's the same Monterrey Security that has been accused of racial profiling among other things) for "not having a pass" and me going "I have this blue vest on plus a field pass, wtf?"

Anyway, here are the pics from Roll #1 (Canon 40D + 24-105mm L + Speedlight 430ex) and Roll #2 (Canon 30D + 100-400mm L).

The intoxication

2008-09-05T00:34:00.002-05:00

Since it's a lovely rainy day in Chicago, instead of going out to play I'm indoors, reading and planning out my next trips. I've come to realize that the planning and prep work I do is all part of the ritualization of what I do. And I do get a high off of the ritual and am intoxicated by it.

It starts out simple - after I find the place where I want to go, I look at flights on my preferred airlines and start to tweak them for cost and miles (I'm at 1.7 million lifetime miles on American Airlines, so I guess that means I get a secret handshake - or something.)

Despite the prep work, I love to keep things fast and loose. I write a list down of things I want to see and do, and then group them together by area so I can be efficient - but it doesn't matter when I see them. There's always slack time, so getting lost and having adventures with strangers fits in nicely. Instanbul was a good example where I stumbled upon new friends who somehow think I'm worth being close to.

I tend to read a massive amount before I go - the State Dept's travel warnings, intel reports, etc. Since I'm branching out to somewhat far off destinations, it's important for me to have an out. Hong Kong doesn't worry me so much as getting lost in Siberia does. And in the next 18 months, it'll only expand.

Cycling fashion advice

2008-09-01T21:49:00.001-05:00

Ok so I'm thinking of doing my first century ride in a few weeks, and I wanted to get something flay-ming for the ride. How does this helmet look to you all?

Perhaps I can get those motorcycle goggles and wear those too!!

The Hawkins 7: Travel Lightly

2008-08-29T20:05:00.002-05:00

1) The year is 2/3's over, so it's nice to see my hotel stays and airline mileage are 2/3's of what I need for the year to requalify. Bitchin'.
2) Hong Kong's coming up in 50 something days and my birthday's in 17. I'm more excited about HK since my birthdays generally suck. All I want is an email from a certain someone - and a $1700 camera lens.
3) Mom donated two nights at the Hong Kong Disneyland resort for me as a birthday present. At least this is only 6 weeks post birthday, as opposed to the 6+ month late dinosaur, which I have yet to hack to make evil. However, this makes 3 different hotels in 8 days, and I like to stay put once I get somewhere. No big deal, though. Free is awesome.
4) I think I'm going to go back to Egypt in late January with Robert Hicks' bday bonanza. I'm trying to drag the Literary Queen along, but she'll be like "No Nick, you can't get me drunk on the flights over" and then end up doing just that.
5) I've got to get cracking on my Arabic (it sucks) and Russian (I know about 10 words). I've been spending the last few weeks with the Russian version of Rosetta Stone, and it hurts. I'm more confused than I was to start with.
6) I'm going to see the movie Transsiberian, mainly because the only way to get excited about adventures is to watch mystery movies about it. Plus it has the ever-so-lovely Emily Mortimer in it.
7) I get to do Flat Stanley again this year - and I'll try to take movies in hi-def to share with the kiddos. That's me, king of the kids.

Photowalk in Lincoln Park

2008-08-24T17:02:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I participated in Scott Kelby's Worldwide Photowalk by hanging out with 50 fellow shooters in Lincoln Park. Despite the humidity, we kept shooting. I went nuts and brought both bodies (the Canon 40D and 30D), lensed up (24-105L and 100-400L) and went crazy. I did wish I had a 70-200 f2.8 IS L lens instead of the 100-400L, but I need another job to afford my gear.

The photos are here and here.

Good morning!

2008-08-24T12:22:00.002-05:00

Early morning helicopter action in the 'hood.

Best spam of the day

2008-08-18T16:51:00.001-05:00

Aliens Are Gay Says Astronaut

Former Astronaut Dr. Edgar Mitchell - a veteran of the Apollo 14 mission - claims aliens are gay and that they are responsible for many of the earth's ills including global warming, war, disease and The View.

Adventures with HD

2008-08-14T16:40:00.001-05:00

I spent pretty much all Wednesday night ripping Blu-ray and HD movies for playback while I'm on the road. It's time consuming and a major pain in the ass. The time consuming portion of it is not ripping the movie off of the disc, but to re-encode it in a smaller format. I ripped 300 at 1080p and was able to convert it to a standalone file, on the order of 16gb. After 8 hours of conversion to Quicktime H.264 at 720p, it weighed in at 4.5gb or so. Casino Royale's rip came to 26gb, with the 720p Quicktime h.264 file at 7gb. Naturally, I'm going to need more hard drive space to add to the pile.

On another note, I got an angry comment saying that I pushed a girl over playing soccer last night and am an asshole for that. Unless I did that from my comfy chair at home while holding a Heineken, it wasn't me. We all know that soccer leads to injury for me, and that my job is to sit and drink beer and heckle. Sorry anonymous person, you got the wrong guy.

Is it worth staying somewhere just for the name?

2008-08-12T18:41:00.001-05:00

Not that I'm trying to be a cheapass when it comes to being in Moscow, but I can't swallow $500+ a night for the Sheraton. I admit, I'm a cheapass. So when looking at hostels (yes, I know, this is painful for me), I found one called the Godzilla Hostel that doesn't look *that* bad. But I just want to stay there for the name. Is that so bad?

Twittering

2008-08-10T19:54:00.003-05:00

I've decided I will be twittering on future trips. Make sure you follow me for the minute by minute updates. Prepare for even more boring!

Russian Railways Virtual Tour

2008-08-08T00:28:00.003-05:00

This is pretty cool - a flash virtual tour of the Trans-Siberian Railway. March can't come soon enough. The sad thing is that I will be in a half a dozen countries before this (it's getting bad.)

The Re-org

2008-08-06T05:51:00.003-05:00

I've decided that the time has come where I need to separate my this psuedo personal/travel blog into just a travel blog, and keep the personal one elsewhere. While it's rather cathartic to talk about things that are bothering me or share fun anecdotes, I need to be more careful about what I say and discuss. Most likely it'll be a whitelist blog, so you'll have to ask if you want to read the thoughts of my elephant brain.

So in the next week or so, I'm going to clean up and move old posts to my personal blog and keep Where Is Hawkins? all about travel.

Edit: It's at Who is Hawkins? (I'm fairly clever!)

Dating while Conservative

2008-08-02T23:07:00.002-05:00

Generally I live a life of quiet boredom intermixed with seemingly funny stories and travels - and it was just one of those weekends.

Friday I had a date in an effort not to feel like a social shutin. However, it led to unintentional hilarity after politics came up, and me describing Obama as "an empty suit in the tradition of Chicago politicians." Well, the look of aghast might have been less if I vividly describe a story involving a sex act, midgets, farm animals, Tijuana and white slavery. It went from a nice date until that came along, and she was firmly convinced that the EVIL REPUBLICANS would overturn Roe v Wade after McCain got elected for starters.

(side track for a moment: The logic in this is sort of flawed. This was the same excuse I heard in '00 with Bush vs Gore and how if Bush was elected, he'd drown puppies and run over children in a SUV after stacking the Supreme Court with justices that would overturn Roe v Wade. While I can't speak for the children or puppies in this case, SCOTUS hasn't moved on Roe v Wade and wouldn't. For the record, I'm pro-choice, which is sometimes confused by morons as "pro Abortion.")

After a small squabble where I realized I actually knew more about Obama's platform and what botehered me about it than she did, I got stuck with the check and headed back downtown and got sidetracked by the Literary Queen and ended up getting drinks with her and her two friends, which turned into a more amusing evening. Evidentally my hearing is going too - we left the Shanghai Terrace at the Peninsula to go find another bar and came across a horsedrawn carriage filled with drunk early twentysomething girls wearing skimpy outfits and their douchebag boyfriends (high class guys, I tell you.) So, the LQ's cool friend screamed "I want to go see the horse!" and ran towards the carriage and I go "JFC Renee! THEY CAN HEAR YOU!!!" (confusing horse and whores, oops.) I think we also decided that the TV show "The Bachelorette" would be made infinitely more fun if they had a cougar. Must-see TV, that is.

Nothing like good friends after a lame week and a more lame date.

I did go to Hot Doug's for lunch today, so I'm sufficiently satiated for some time with encased meats. It was about a 45 minute wait again, but it was well worth it. There's something to be said about anticipation of a quality meal in a place that's awesome.

Eagles are a bunch of dicks

2008-07-26T17:28:00.001-05:00

Planning the Trans-Siberian Railway

2008-07-25T18:25:00.003-05:00

I thought I'd jot some notes down about my planning of the Trans-Siberian Railway come March of 2009. It'll definitely be an adventure, but it's also testing out my awesome logistic skills and trying to plan everything out ahead of time.

If you're interested in doing this trip yourself, or at least seeing the method to my madness, keep reading. This is all the pre-planning many months out. And of course, it's the Hawkins 7.

Step One: Read the awesome Seat61.com guide to the Trans-Siberian Railway.
All good journeys start with a first step, and this is the best way to get your feet wet with thinking about the journey. And then start buying books. The Lonely Planet Trans-Siberian book sucks, but Bryn Thomas' Trans-Siberian Railway book kicks ass.

Step Two: Figure out where you want to stop off.
If I wanted to lock myself on a train for a week, I'd take Amtrak somewhere. But I wanted to see Moscow, see some of Siberia, see Lake Baikal and of course, Mongolia. I'm doing two major stops on the train from Moscow to Beijing - Irkutsk and then Ulan Bator, Mongolia. If I had the time or money, I'd consider stopping at the major stops, even though it seems like there's just a day's worth of stuff to see.

Step Three: Beg for time off of work.
Enough said. I'm taking three weeks.

Step Four: Check out the timetables.
"Duh." Well yes, I know that this is a no brainer, but it's important to know which trains run on what days, and plan your trip around that instead of when you want to go. As much as I'd like to stop in various places along the way, it's going to be drawing out a long process.

Step Five: Construct a draft of the itinerary.
I've been sketching one out in Google Documents. I know, a spreadsheet - but at least I didn't use Microsoft Project and bust out a Gantt chart. As you can see, I've got 2 days in Irkutsk and 3 days or so in Ulan Bator with a few days in Moscow and Beijing on either end. Those I can be flexible with - the ones in the middle I can't.

Step Six: Start looking at flights.
The Seat61 guy, being London based, said that it's cheating to fly from the UK to Moscow to do the Trans-Siberian. However, since I'm about 3950 miles west of London, I decided that I'd rather spend the time I would have spent going from London to Moscow via rail actually exploring Moscow and having a good time. I cashed in some frequent flier miles and got the ticket taken care of. Otherwise, it's a major pain to find one-way tickets from those cities, but it can be done.

Step Seven: Start saving money.
I budgeted $1000 for the train ticket itself, and it's reasonable considering it's lodging + entertainment + transport. What I need to save my shekels for is Moscow. It's the most expensive city in the world, and I'm struggling to conceptualize as to why though. If you ever want an eye-opener, look at hotel prices in Moscow. Even 2-3 star hotels are $200 a night.

As the trip approaches, another Hawkins 7 list will pop up dealing with those fun things like visas, currency, gadgets and all the things that make life worth living.

Old Man Hawkins

2008-07-25T06:08:00.000-05:00

1) While getting a haircut, I noticed more and more grey hairs falling to the ground. The stylist recommended I should get it colored. Hot.

2) I got Super Monkey Ball for my iPhone and after playing it for an hour, I got motion sickness.

I might as well get out the walker and start playing bingo.

This can't be real

2008-07-21T12:44:00.003-05:00

Saddle sores are one of those things that cyclists put up with. I've never had a situation where I needed something "to reduce and relieve chaffing, irritation, and protect fragile perineal skin from bacterial and fungal infections." And even with my coinpurse being as large as a beanbag chair, this has never been a problem.

(from Deadspin)

Trans-Siberian Railway

2008-07-18T21:31:00.001-05:00

A potential future adventure.

View Larger Map

IM snippet du jour

2008-07-18T00:19:00.002-05:00

nhawkins41: plus I like her. She's cute, psychotic and cute
nhawkins41: so she's high on the nick scale
amy: lol She is totally your type

I've always said that the criteria for dating me involves awesome hair, intelligence and someone who's a bit unstable. "Hi cute girl - are you borderline psychotic, super smart and promise to break my heart? If so, we should totally hang out."

I wonder if my health insurance plan covers this

2008-07-16T19:12:00.002-05:00

ICD-9, code E845. "Accident involving spacecraft." And if I get injured on a launchpad, that's E928.0.

This would make one hell of a case study if presented in our ED. I hope my resident homeboy, Dr. David would let me know.

On a serious note - if I was suffering from delusions about being abducted by aliens and was injured during my delusion, could you use this? Any psychiatrists want to take a stab at this?

All this iPhone 3G hoopla...

2008-07-12T05:35:00.001-05:00

Whut?

2008-07-08T22:29:00.003-05:00

I like it when girls from the past email me with the "Hey, I missed your awesomeness" and then go "oh btw in I'm in a relationship, lolz!!!" Seriously - wtf?

Anyway... I'm in the tentative stages of planning a trip on the Trans-Siberian Railway in March of '09. It sounds easy in theory and I can get the tickets booked if I want to - however, it requires a lot of planning if I didn't want to do this as part of some lame-ass organized tour. That and getting the flights I want without paying through the nose.

The more pressing matter is building a new desktop computer. With my photography growing even more insane, I need something that will handle a huge Lightroom database and be able to toss that around like nothing. I've been leaning towards building a gaming PC, but every time I start to list out serious components, I get worried that I'll be invariably drawn to some time-consuming online game where I'll be heckled by kids half my age (when you've had email longer than they've been alive, that's a sign you're getting old) that use every key on their designer keyboard except for the ones with letters. And there's need to go Mac all the way. That's just silly.

How to fill out a Russian Visa application

2008-07-05T11:13:00.000-05:00

by Nick Hawkins

Since I'm one of those guys who's a meticulous planner, I have a handful of visa applications filled out and in a desk drawer, because with me - you just never know.

Getting into Russia is pretty crazy - not only do you have to fill out the visa applications (which was more intensive than my NU applications), get visa support and then immediately register with the authorities. Sweet! Who loves bureaucracy? I do!

27. List all countries you have visited in the last ten years and indicate the year of visit

Please see attached book.

31. List all professional, civil and charity organizations which you are (were) a member of, or contribute (contributed) to, or work (worked) with

Between the boat club, the museum and other stuff, I'm sure I'm going to raise red flags.

32. Do you have any specialized skills, training or experience related to fire-arms and explosives or to nuclear, biological or chemical activities? If «Yes», please explain

Um, this is me we're talking about. I'll just have to lie.

33. Have you ever performed military service? If «Yes», indicate the country, branch of service, rank, military occupation and dates of service

Being a pirate counts, right?

34. Have you ever been involved in an armed conflict, either as a member of the military service or a victim? If «Yes», please explain

I live in Chicago. That should be enough.

Have you ever tried to obtain or assisted others to obtain a Russian visa or enter Russia by providing misleading or false information?

Hey wait a minute! Are you trying to trick me?

Have you ever been deported from Russia?

"Not yet" is not a checkbox.

Updated photos

2008-07-05T08:04:00.000-05:00

In a quest to become the most boring man alive, I started updating my old photos to include geotag info within the EXIF headers, along with do some color correction of photos that looked like crap.

All new photos are found here, and there's one for those who love the RSS feeds.

Because I Can't Sit Still

2008-07-03T22:09:00.002-05:00

Well, I had this grand notion of going to South Africa in March with the spousal unit, mainly to get some surfing in along with going on another safari and hunting elephants for their delicious ivory tusks, but fate is conspiring against me.

I'm sure I could bore you to death with the intricacies of routing and award tickets, but after spending a week of finding an awesome itinerary AND doing it in the most mile-effective manner, the seats weren't available because airlines are stupid. Fuck. But like any good planner, I've got a few backup options, most of which will cause family and friends to doubt my sanity (like there's not a thousand reasons at the moment.)

Hong Kong's in 3 months, so I'm looking forward to that. From there, probably a return trip to the Middle East come late January.

The summer's looking better than it started out. Good plans, a lot of fun and good friends. Plus I've got a stack of books to read and miles to ride. What else can you want?

Aw yeah, that golden rule

2008-06-29T15:51:00.004-05:00

One of the things about me is that I'm prone to the "fire, ready, aim" approach to a lot of things. And over the years, I've learned the valuable lesson that if the thought of something makes me giggle for more than 10 seconds, I probably shouldn't do it because it's probably illegal, immoral or would result in a beating.

This weekend's giggle litmus test: I thought it'd be hilarious to send a stripper to a friend's kid's bar mitzvah. Granted, this would put me in the Asshole Hall of Fame, but it'd be funny. But then again, I also think it'd be funny to send a stripper to a wedding shower.

On another note, I had a "leisurely" 55 mile bike ride today. I wish my new handlebar and stem would arrive because I felt kind of sore - but not as bad as it was before the fitting.

Hurray for nerd books!

2008-06-26T19:06:00.001-05:00

Book 1 of 19 is arriving tomorrow. I know what I'm doing this weekend at Oak Street Beach - the sun and a book about 3000+ year old dead people.

Gorillas in the Midst

2008-06-23T02:14:00.003-05:00

I've got two weeks of vacation mentally roped off in late January of 2009, and like any good lad with ADHD would do, I start mentally building future vacations. It's actually pretty fun. Pick a spot, look up what there is to do there, and start building out itineraries and budgets.

Two weeks would give me some time in East Africa again, go back to Kenya, eat at Carnivore again, go see some Leakey digs and then head over to the lovely tourist hotspots of Rwanda and Uganda to go see gorillas in the wild.

The cost of the safaris themselves don't seem that bad. When Scott and I did our Africa thing in 2005, we paid ~$200 a day for everything. Probably half of what we paid was park entry fees.

That is, until I saw the other costs.

Since seeing gorillas in the wild is capacity controlled (it'd have to be), they have to make the price crazy to weed out the riff raff guys like myself. Each day in both Rwanda and Uganda is $500 per person. Crap! I was looking at $3k additional on top of the week tour!

So much for that bright idea and trying to be the YouTube generation's David Attenborough. Surfing and sailing sounds much better.

Somewhere, Rabbis are weeping...

2008-06-22T21:47:00.000-05:00

Please shoot me if I ever have a cake made for me like this.

I can't think of a good blog post title.

2008-06-19T00:31:00.003-05:00

Well, I've been a busy guy the last few weeks. Sorry about that - I know, I'm setting a bad example if I'm portraying myself as a slacker. I've been sleeping a lot - not well, but all I've been wanting to stay in bed. I'm cold all the time.

The next trip is set in stone - I'm off to Hong Kong at the end of October. I figure a few days gambling in Macau, jumping off of tall things, some surfing in Tai Long Wan, and trying to get into the Foreign Correspondent's Club will do me some good. Oooh, and shopping.

I've also started travel blogging for realz. We'll see how it pans out. I have no plans for getting rich, but it'd be kinda cool to be considered a tech expert.

That's it. Sorry it's so boring.

Bike fittings

2008-06-02T21:12:00.000-05:00

I had my bike fitted over the weekend, which is something I've been postponing forever. Since I've got an odd body shape, I need a bike that actually fits so it doesn't look like there's an oddly shaped fat guy running over children on the lakefront. It's not that I try to hit the children - they just jump in my way. The squirrels have the good sense to back off.

I had the cleats and seat adjusted and the stem flipped upwards while I've got wider handlebars and a shorter stem on order. But I did feel a difference. I wasn't slouched over as much and rode more efficiently. It was well worth the money, and it's definitely well worth the case of beer to deliver to my bike mechanics at Kozy.

Today's ride was also an experiment - ride with two GPS devices. I picked up the Garmin Forerunner 405 over the weekend and ran it along with the Edge 305 to record the ride. It's not like I expected different results - I was interested in the output and how Garmin's going from MotionBased to Garmin Connect - the next iteration of their online performance measurement/management tool. I did find out that Garmin Connect doesn't measure actual versus moving time in speed calculations. It's hard to find out if you're going faster if you have to manually factor in the stop in various spots. That sucks, and needs to be fixed. The Forerunner 405 is a nice watch, but it's mainly for running (me run? HA!) and for cycling, it's got a shit looking attachment to the bike. However, once the bike is pimped out, I will geek it out and make sure that Tim's dorkcycle is surpassed.

Wash Your Fucking Feet

2008-05-26T23:56:00.002-05:00

On the way back from London today, there was this horrid odor near my seat. It literally reeked of ass or something bodily. It was hilarious because I sat next to a Pakistani guy who made a funny about how he normally gets blamed for these odors but this time it wasn't him. That made me LOL, though. Anyway, the entire flight crew found the smell repulsive. It was bad. Turning on the air only seemed to multiply and spread the smell.

Turns out that it was some hippie-lookin' guy a seat up and over from me who went barefoot throughout the entire flight was the culprit. This Indian couple my age in the row in front of me was like "Seriously we thought something died."

So be kind to your fellow passengers on a long flight - wash your fucking feet and wear socks. Going barefoot on a plane is a bad idea anyway for about a thousand reasons.

Future Adventures

2008-05-18T20:54:00.003-05:00

Well, I talked with the soon-to-be wife today and it looks like she wants to join me on a future adventure. Naturally this brings up some interesting issues. Traveling by myself is fun, but it gets lonely. I get to do what I want and how I want it. And traveling with a few friends is fun, but it takes the right sort of friends to go on fun adventures with because they have to match your personality. Finding laid back people who go with the flow is important. I could never travel with someone who keeps a clock and a demanding schedule.

So, I haven't planned anything but will gladly take suggestions on where to go.

You know you're a nerd when...

2008-05-18T20:25:00.002-05:00

You find this and you laugh like a juvenile.

The day after

2008-05-11T23:28:00.002-05:00

Day 4 - Luxor:
I spent the entire night running back and forth between the bathroom and taking powernaps on the floor so I'd be that much faster to the draw in the event of power vomiting. I did a good job at pushing fluids - Orange Fanta is awesome. Of course, I was an idiot - didn't bring Oral rehydration salts/gatorade mix, no Tums/Pepto or even Cipro. It goes with my travel rule - I always forget something at home, I always lose something and I always break something. At this point, the triad of misery was complete (I "broke" an 8gb CF card and I lost my Canon battery charger somewhere.) I felt like shit to be perfectly honest. I had a great view of the Nile and everything you could possibly want on a vacation but my GI system went to hell and on top of it, my legs were cramping bigtime due to crawling around inside of Cheops 2 days earlier. I was waddling.

The best I could figure it, if I didn't do something today, I would have felt like crap and bummed. I wanted to go see the Valley of the Kings, so I negotiated a seemingly fair rate with a taxi driver and he took me and promised me that we'd stop and see the Colossi of Memnon on the way back. Cool.

In a way, I had these visions of exploring the Valley of the Kings on a bicycle, which apparently is the cool way to see everything if you have the time. But it was about 100 out, and I wasn't feeling up for any exertion. I took the little tram car up for a few Egyptian Pounds and made it up to the entrance. It was only then did I realize I wasn't up for this. Basically, every tomb has a separate admission fee - King Tutankhamen's tomb, for instance, was an additional 80 Egyptian Pounds ($15) on top of the $9 entry fee. That was just for starters. If you had the money and the desire not to take any pictures inside any tomb, you were more than welcome to. Basically you can spend all day and about $100 to see everything, but no photos. Dr. Carter must have had nerd orgasms daily on everything that he found in these sites. Tut's tomb, for instance, contained a lot of treasures (which I saw at the Egyptian Museum a few days earlier.) It was amazing to see. Sadly, that was the only tomb I went in that day. I was beat and just wanted to go to bed. I made the most of my 2 hours there and realized I was in poor shape: I hadn't eaten in 48 hours, pushed more water than any person should and just needed bed time in a comfy bed.

On the way back, we swung by the Temple of Hatshepsut to take photos. I ran out of the car, snapped about a dozen photos, and on the way out someone tried to shake us down for "admission" to take photos - at the cost of what it would cost to actually go inside. The douchebag blocked the car and I leaned out going "Seriously what the fuck!!!" in my obnoxious loudmouthed American voice, attracting the Tourism Police. My taxi driver explained everything that the Tourism Police pushed the dude out of the way so we could head out.

The final stop was the Colossi of Memnon, two huge statues of Amenhotep III. Basically, everyone pulls up for a few minutes, hops out, snaps photos and then heads back out. But instead of being shaken down by some random tout, the Tourism Police hit my taxi driver up for a few cigarettes and then we drove off. I thought, well, Chicago and Luxor's police share a few things in common...

I grabbed some more Fanta and water and attempted to eat some at the hotel but just gave up and decided to crash. Tomorrow was a big day - I had to pack, hopefully take a Felluca ride on the Nile and at night, take the overnight train back to Cairo. I felt a bit disappointed, not seeing what I wanted to see fully but I realized that I might be back here in January of 2009 with a big posse of people and that I could always come back at any time in the future. The benefits of being a frequent traveler - the realization that there is no such thing as a "once in a lifetime" trip.

Arrival in Luxor

2008-05-10T18:57:00.002-05:00

Arriving in Luxor by train is rather quite amusing. The guidebook said "watch out for touts," but I didn't believe them. I had a simple plan: get to the hotel, get cleaned up and then head to Karnak and Luxor Temples and consider my day a great success.

The overnight train pulled up to Luxor Station, I grabbed my stuff, made a quick cleanup of the cabin and headed off the train, to, as luck would have it - run smack into a tout asking if I had a hotel or needed a taxi. Wow, not even 10 seconds! I made a mental note to write an "I'm sorry I doubted you" note to Rough Guides, and headed outside and grabbed a taxi. We negotiated a price of 20 Egyptian Pounds and drove off. After a few minutes, he said "40!" and I opened the door and screamed "PULL THE FUCK OVER!" "Ok, ok, ok... sorry!" Well, he dropped me off about a block from the hotel, and I was pissed that some douchenozzle was going to try to change the agreed upon price. Upon retrospect, I should have taken this as a sign to come about touts trying to squeeze tourists.

The first stop after getting showered, cleaned up and restaged was Karnak Temple - it's the largest religious complex in the world (behind the shrine to me in Vancouver.) Pretty much you were only allowed to wander around Amun-Re, and most of my time was spent thinking about what it was like to go through this before it fell into disrepair. It would have been intimidating, frightening and amazing (especially lit with torches, not with my badass flashlight.)

I decided to take a walk (which wasn't the brightest idea) and ended up at the Luxor Museum. The museum itself is spectacular, considering the guidebooks say that it's on the second tier list of things to do when you're in Luxor. The museum itself had two mummies in awesome condition, as well as a bunch of stuff from King Tutankhamen's tomb in the Valley of the Kings. No photos were allowed but the guards would have gladly let me for some baksheesh. I was tempted, but I was just glad to be out of the heat and sun and in the cold, dark and air conditioned museum. They did have this really pimp statue of Amenhotep III and the crocodile god Sobek that was neat.

The walk to the Luxor Temple wasn't that bad. I did get to stumble across the University of Chicago's office there, presumably for the badass Oriental Institute. After a bit of walking, I ended up at Luxor Temple. In a way, it was a bit of a letdown after seeing Karnak first, but still pretty impressive. The 80 foot high granite obelisk was familiar - there were a pair of them, but one was taken to Paris. Ramessess II was present everywhere in amazing statues. The handiwork was amazing - even with modern tools they'd still be super impressive.

I took a taxi back to the hotel, got rehydrated and started to have projectile vomiting, which was totally sexy. It just hit me out of the blue (blew!) and that's how I spent my night. I wasn't sure if it was food poisoning (a lot of things were suspect) and as luck would have it, I forgot my goodie-bag with Cipro, Pepto and all sorts of awesome drugs. I kept pushing fluids (water and Fanta - I mean, c'mon - Fanta is awesome) and kept running between the bathroom and bed. It was time to get myself feeling better so I can proceed with seeing things in Luxor.

The Pyramids

2008-05-09T21:39:00.000-05:00

Growing up in the sticks, I never imagined that I’d ever get to see the Pyramids of Giza, let alone crawl inside one of them. But let’s back up for a moment (have you guys gotten the impression by now that I can’t tell anything in a linear fashion?) – I was pretty much exhausted from my first day running around Cairo that I had plans to “just lie down for an hour” which turned into 12. Things like that happen from time to time.

I had an ambitious plan – get up early and go hit the Pyramids before it got too hot out. Temperatures in Cairo were in the 90’s range with the sun and the dryness sucking the water out of you. I loaded up with 2 liters of water with plans to buy more while I was there and left the hotel around 7:20am in order to catch them as they opened at 8am. The upside of staying close to the Pyramids is that I thought I could walk it, which upon retrospect, isn’t the smartest thing I’ve done (in a long line of stupid things I’ve done). As I’m fond of saying, the map showed that it was “only two inches” away and it was a good 30 minute walk.

Like anything in Egypt, there’s the general admission and always additional entry fees to all the cool stuff. It was 50 Egyptian Pounds (US$9) to get into the Pyramids and another 100 Egyptian Pounds to go enter Cheops. I paid for my separate admission fee and queued up like a good tourist. There was no photography allowed (they had people confiscating and holding cameras) along with wanding with a handheld metal detector. It sort of ruined my day – I was so hoping that I could sneak in my pocket camera to get a shot or two. I don’t know how these 'tards got in and took photos, but I’m jealous. Maybe things have changed.

We entered Cheops and crawled inside what amounts to a 3 foot high passageway that was probably 150 feet long and at a 40 degree incline. It made a great hike climb, considering it was by far the most humid place I’ve ever been in. My highly scientific estimate was approximately 4 billion percent humidity inside. I did score some serious cool points with my badass Fenix flashlight and lit the way. Eventually we got into the King’s Chamber, where the humidity felt like it tripled. We spent some time looking inside and it didn’t hit me until later that – holy shit, I’m in one of the Great Fucking Pyramids! Getting down was more of a hassle – it was sort of scary and a bit claustrophobic. After about 10 minutes, I got out of the Great Pyramids of Cheops, grabbed my bag, paid my baksheesh and realized that I was drenched in my own sweat. I pounded a liter of water and felt like I got my ass kicked. Also, your legs will take a pounding. Even with my awesome quads from cycling and enduring things in the past like Kilimanjaro and other long hikes, this was something new. My legs were beat and it took a few days to recover.

At the back of the Great Pyramid of Cheops is the Solar Boat Museum. It was designed to carry Khufu’s mummy across the Nile for burial. I was amazed at the level of craftsmanship that was displayed and even more impressed by the renovation of the boat itself. It was pretty cool. When people packed for the afterlife, they didn’t leave things behind. I only wish someone would bury me with a Santa Cruz 52’ or a J130 for the afterlife so I can go sail when I want to. His boat was roughly 150 feet long. Some guys get all the luck.

Chefre and Menakure were equally cool Pyramids. It’s hard to say something original about them, but I sat and took it all in. I wondered what it would be like to be here during the building and what it cost in terms of lives, materials and time. I’ve read a good number of books on pyramid building theories, essays on what comprised the workforce, and the effort involved (whomever calculated the effort in calories is a lot cooler than I am.) It must have been something to sit and watch this during construction with the thousands of workers involved, and the thousands of people who supported the laborers. It would have been something to just sit and watch.

After a few hours of walking around (mental note: The Pyramids aren’t really walkable, and you’re asking for trouble if you decide that riding a camel/horse is awesome.) Like any of the cool open-air museums that Egypt has to offer, they also have people who are more than willing to pose for photos, let you into “closed” things and lead you around as impromptu tour guides for cash. If you’re planning a tour of the Giz Plateau, it’s probably a good idea to bring small notes (LE10, or $1.80) for baksheesh. Everyone’s up for it, including the police. In a way, it’s much like Chicago – a favor or a few offered cigarettes might get the police to turn a blind eye or cut you some slack.

The Sphinx was pretty damn slick. I’m not entirely sure what it was to represent, but again the craftsmanship was definitely something to behold. The problem that I had was I’m trying to deconstruct and then reconstruct this from an engineer’s perspective, then expand that into project planning. So I’m wondering – what sort of person got to work on the Sphinx? How long did it take? How many people? What were they trying to build and why? In a way, spending time with the Pyramids and the Sphinx were maddening. Every question I had answered had 20 more come up.

I left the Giza Plateau after about 6 hours and exited near the Sphinx. And as fate or fortune smiled upon me, I stumbled across a Pizza Hut. It clearly was a sign, so I made a beeline towards the PH and had a nice meal, making it my 22nd country I’ve had PH in. It’s quite sad, but it hit the spot.

I got back to the hotel, crashed by the pool, tried to push fluids as best as I could and took a taxi to Giza Station to catch my overnight train to Luxor. I was looking forward to an overnight train ride – I had my own cabin (I was willing to share, but I didn’t get a bunkmate) and managed to get a decent night’s sleep. I was thinking of the Valley of the Kings and it was time to get there.

My hotel in Cairo

2008-05-09T18:26:00.002-05:00

Because I like taking HD videos. This is what a Starwood Platinum upgrade gets me.

Score!

2008-05-08T06:10:00.002-05:00

Mother's Day flowers = 1500 AAdvantage miles.

But at this rate, when you've earned 1.63 million miles in 6.5 years and are sitting on enough available miles to take 3 friends around the world in style, it just makes for a way to keep score.

Photos are up

2008-05-07T20:04:00.002-05:00

(Yes, I know, I need to finish my trip write up. That's coming.)

All of the Egypt photos are up at Fotki, but I haven't captioned them yet or deleted the ones that suck. Nor have I made my "best of" photos. But for those who are impatient, you can check them out.

I have a few videos I have to upload to YouTube, but mainly it's just of how awesome the hotels were. It makes me feel a bit frustrated that I'm going to have to work on trying to keep Starwood Platinum status next year.

The first day in Cairo

2008-05-07T19:24:00.005-05:00

After getting a few hours of sleep, I got up around 6:30am and sat and watched the Pyramids while I tried to figure out what to do with my first day. I had 3 major objectives: Visit the Egyptian Museum, pick up my overnight train tickets to Luxor and back, and head to the Citadel of Saladin. Knowing that the Egyptian Museum opened at 10am, I had some time to kill. I grabbed some breakfast, checked email and hopped into a taxi to the Museum.

Hailing a taxi in Cairo is an artform that I don't think anyone adequately explains. You flag down a taxi, tell them where you want to go, and if they are going in that direction, you get in. If they aren't, then they drive off. It's that simple. All the taxis I was in had broken meters, so the fee is flat based on the distance you're going. However, no one tells you the distance, and you have to scour the internets to find out. The best guide I found was the the h2g2 guide at the Beeb so print it out and keep it handy. If you're a single male passenger, you get to ride shotgun. My driver to the museum was nice and he offered me a cigarette. I figured, welcome to Cairo.

I got to the museum as it opened, and wasn't prepared for the pure onslaught of tourists. Normally I'm good at handling crowds of people, but I felt overwhelmed. I paid my entry fee and thought I'd be able to walk in with my backpack. I waited a few minutes, went through the metal detector and x-ray machine and they sent me back to have my backpack held. So if you had a great idea of taking awesome photos at the Egyptian Museum, you're out of luck. I was kinda pissed but whatever - I had to deal. Entry fee was 50 Egyptian Pounds (US$9).

The museum itself was nothing short of amazing. I had seen bits and pieces of the collection when it was the Field and in other museums, but it was cool to see everything under one roof. However, nothing is really labeled and docents are in short supply so you're either forced to take a tour (again, it's hard to find a quality tour guide unless you're with an overall tour) or buy a good book. I used both my Rough Guide Egypt book and my DK Egypt book to navigate around, but it still wasn't enough. I spent a few hours there, and the highlights were the Royal Mummy collection (100 Egytian Pounds, US$18) and of course, the infamous King Tut collection. The Tutankamun mask was amazing and most definitely - it was good to be the King.

After a few hours, I left, grabbed my bag, walked to the nearest Metro station and decided to be bold and take it to Ramses Station to get my train tickets. The Metro was fine - and I figured it was worth taking it 2 stops for 1 Egyptian Pound (18 cents). I got my tickets for the Abela overnight train and hopped into a taxi and went to the east side of Cairo to go to the Citadel of Saladin.

The Citadel itself is famous for housing the Alabaster Mosque, or the Muhammed Ali Mosque (not to be confused with the boxer, but it'd be badass if he did have his own mosque. Mosques, like churches, tend to blend together for me and it's cool to see them but I fail to be wowed by them. I mean, I understand them historically and can appreciate it for that, but it's like - ok, cool - that was a good five minutes well spent.

I also did wander around the Police Museum and the National Military Museum. The Police Museum was interesting with displays on counterfitting and historical assassinations but the Military Museum got my interest peaked. I was mainly curious how they'd handle battles with the Israelis, who, for the most part, kicked the shit out of the Egyptians (see: the 1948 Arab-Israeli War and The Six Day War). Those were conspiciously absent, but the museum did make a big deal about the Yom Kippur War in 1973 that caught the Israelis offguard, then had the Israelis rally and start to kick ass before the USSR threatened to step in and how that was important and showed how great their military prowess was. I bit my tongue and kept going. In a way, it was cool to see this historically and put it in the context of having seen some of the US's latest military hardware up close and how "low tech" it seemed, but whatever. It was still cool.

Around closing time, I decided to hop back in a taxi back across town and head to the hotel and plan out the rest of my day. I felt like I got my ass kicked, so I planned on taking a bit of a nap, and then grabbing some food and planning out tomorrow's trip to the Giza Pyramids.

Welcome to Cairo!

2008-05-05T23:03:00.002-05:00

Let's back up and talk about the trip from the beginning.

My flight from O'Hare on Royal Jordanian was quite the mess. Checkin was chaotic and there's literally nothing to do once you get past security in Terminal 5 at O'Hare. It's like your stuck in a long tunnel of "teh suck."

At the gate, one of the Royal Jordanian staffers eyed up my camera backpack and suggested that I check it because it would be too big for carry-on. I said, under no circumstances are we checking this bag. It makes perfect sense - if I'm carrying $10k in crap in my bag, it's staying with me, carryon requirements be damned. So he stewed and finally "let" me take my bag.

Boarding was fine - I swapped seats with another guy in coach so he could sit next to my family. Then the fun began - a woman decided at the last moment not to take a trip, so they had to pull her luggage from the belly of the plane, which caused a delay and made me nervous - there was only an 80 minute connection in Amman, so I knew we had to be on time. This delay (that was never communicated) extended into 3 hours - all the time the plane's door was open, so the ~50 degree weather was blown into the plane by winds. This pissed a lot of people off, so people were getting angry and screaming in Arabic at the pilot. I was a bit frustrated - I mean, not only am I missing my connecting flight but no one's saying a thing and everyone's getting nutty.

Oh, and the kids. There had to be around 50 children on this flight, most of them were running around. I sat next to a kid, who bit me during the flight. I'm sitting reading a Victorian romance book (don't laugh - I met the author) and all of the sudden I feel this bite on my left leg near my knee. "WHAT THE FUCK?" I yelled at this little kid, who probably didn't understand English and got a braindead look from his mother, who looked at me like I was somehow to blame for this. In the mean time, the little girl in front of me reached behind her seat and kept grabbing my legs. "No touching!" I kept saying. Naturally, being a little kid, she took this as a dare and kept doing it. I finally said, I'd appreciate it if you don't grab my legs and if you're good, I will give you $5 at the end of the flight if you don't grab my legs. "Ok!" she said.

Traveler's note: Bribery of children is perfectly acceptable.

I took some Ambien, put on the iPod and dozed off and woke up with 3 hours to go. I assumed I missed my connecting flight and had my buddy text me with the next flight's info during the waiting period at O'Hare so I knew I'd be 12 hours late into Cairo and juggling my itinerary around. I felt dejected missing my connecting flight and secretly wished pain on this woman - her selfishness fucked a lot of people. Thanks anonymous lady!

We landed in Amman and I ran off the plane to get to the information desk to figure out where I was staying that night and the guy said "The flight's still here - run to your gate." HOLY SHIT THEY HELD THE FLIGHT! Well, there had to be at least 40 people on my flight from Chicago who got on my connecting flight, so it made sense and still, made me love Royal Jordanian and make up for the fact that they had morons on the ground in Chicago. The big question was whether or not my clothes would make it but I had enough stuff with me to last a few days, so I was happy. I sat next to a nice Palestinian woman who was a pharmacist, who was surprised that a) I was from Chicago and not a gangster and that b) I had Arab friends. I tried to explain that we're all not gangsters from Chicago and the US is a safe place. But keeping up with the help my friends out standing order, I was thinking - she's nice enough - I should have her email my friend Eihab. Instead, I composed an email on the crackberry:

"I sat next to a nice Palestinian woman on the flight from Amman to Cairo. I would have given her your email but she had butterface. Sorry."

We landed at Cairo International Airport and made it to passport control. I saved time by getting my visa in Chicago and skipped on through and claimed my luggage. The moment you pass customs, you're descended upon by touts and taxi drivers. I went to the Cairo Airport Shuttle Bus counter, told them where I was going and hit the ATM. But even the Shuttle Bus people weren't free of being touts - they told me that they (not the company) had their own tour company and gave me his number if I wanted an air conditioned car to drive me around. Sweet, I thought - does everyone try to screw tourists?

Side note: A pet peeve of mine at airports is the ATM. All they do is spit out large bills, which basically screws you for getting small change. Even when you try to order odd amounts that guarantees you smaller notes, odds are that the ATM will only dispense the largest bills possible. Seriously, what the hell? But I digress...

After 45 minutes, I made it to the hotel - the Le Meridien Pyramids. The hotel itself was nothing special except for the view. It was pretty disappointing as a matter of fact. But the view atones for a lot of sins. It was $250 a night when I tried booking it, so I cashed in some hotel points to get a room. What was weird was that the hotel is considered a Starwood Category 1 hotel, requiring a 3000 points a night (that was with my upgraded room with a Pyramids view). Normally, the fancier hotels require more points per night but this being a Cat 1 hotel made me wonder (as a comparison, the Four Points Midway Airport is considered a Category 2 hotel and the W Lakeshore is a Category 5.)

It was time to kick off the shoes, shower and then head to bed. I had a busy day in front of me, and it required me to get my ass in gear early.

Next post: My first day in Cairo - the Egyptian Museum, the Citadel of Saladin and takin' care of business.

The Cairo Report (abridged)

2008-05-02T12:37:00.004-05:00

Well, I've survived Cairo for the most part. It's been an enjoyable but hair-raising experience. My friend Eihab well prepared me for this trip by teaching me a few choice Arabic profanities, which has totally come in handy. Tomorrow morning I'm onward to Amman, Jordan in a short-ass flight.

For the most part, you have to haggle for everything. Well, I take that back. Cairo taxis aren't for haggling. You flag a taxi down, and state your destination. If he's not going that direction, you flag another one. And when you arrive, you should know how much the journey costs (the meter never works, but since *everyone* knows the rate, apparently, you have to give the driver that rate.) I guess it works, since I had no problems.

This afternoon I went down to Saqqara and Memphis on my final day in town. After some haggling, I paid 120 Egyptian Pounds (I'm sure I got overcharged by 50% but whatever) to have a driver take me to both places, wait for me, and then drive me back. After an overnight train from Luxor, I was happy to feel semi-catered to. The step-pyramid of Djozer was pretty damn pimp. It was only ~100 years behind the Great Pyramids of Giza but was way behind technologically. Time to read up on it. The Memphis Museum was cool too - they had this amazing 30+ foot long statue of Ramses II that was lying on the ground because the legs have been lost to time.

Baksheesh was something I learned pretty well in Istanbul and in India - small tips for pretty much everything. Everyone that smiles at you seems to demand money. At major attractions and in museums, you can tip someone to turn a blind eye for you going into a closed tomb or take photos where you are not allowed to. The downside is that they will drag you around for 10 minutes and demand US$20, at which point you should say GFY. I had to do that today. I had some guy at Saqqara drag me around and almost physically confront me for US$40 for baksheesh "for the guards." When you ask to pay them yourself, they get a little antsy. It's quite funny. If you take it as a game, then you'll be fine. But if you're not expecting it, it's akin to being thrown to the jackals.

Thus far, I've taken 1500+ photos, eaten Pizza Hut in my 22nd country (and sixth continent), climbed up a passageway in the Great Pyramid of Cheops, got food poisoning and was bitten by a kid on the leg on the Royal Jordanian flight over. Oh, and I had a 8 GB CF card go bad on me at the Giza Pyramids - I have only myself to blame for not testing it out beforehand, but hey - shit happens.

The overall plan is to backdate some of my blog posts to coincide with what it is that I did, since I've got it journaled that way. And pretty it up with pictures and all that jazz. And I know - I'll get to the photos when I get to them, especially since all of them are nice and geotagged individually (more on that later if you can stomach a long post on photography nerdness and all that it entails.).

Time for a late night beer, packing and some sleep. I'm one exhausted guy.

I'm in Cairo

2008-04-26T23:36:00.000-05:00

Safe and sound, as luck would have it. More on that later. But first, here's the view from my hotel room this morning. Feel free to tell me to GFY.

Nick's Safety Tip

2008-04-25T00:09:00.003-05:00

Don't put orange colored 409 spray next to your orange flavored Listerine in your bathroom, otherwise in a half-tired state like say, after a post-work nap, you might end up with a mouth full of cleaning solution.

That is all.